Coming Out of The Shadowlands

Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

It is a dangerous day, the day God’s delight and your desires converge on DESTINY. For that is the day you decide, that to delight God’s heart, is all that matters to you anymore. On that day—you are absolutely wrecked for the status quo!

I remember that day.

It was a long time coming for me, because for most of my life, I couldn’t bear the idea of having no family to connect with. That day I was faced with choosing who’s “report” I would believe. Would I believe what God had been saying about me? Would I believe where He wanted to take me?

Or, would I keep allowing others to regularly tear down what God wanted to build up?

Something in me decided—there has to be MORE—than this.

I was DONE with my status quo.

I was done listening to the negative voices. Voices, telling me that I wasn’t good enough for God’s blessings—that I wasn’t ever going to be good enough for God’s best. Voices that told me I had been cursed by God.

(I actually used to wonder if it was true?)

Yet I knew, God had begun doing something new in my heart. His words from Isaiah kept coming back to me…

“But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I’m going to do! For I’m going to do a brand-new thing. See, I have already begun! Don’t you see it?” [Isa. 43: 18-19 TLB]

And so, I was certain, that for me things had to radically change.

I needed to make some hard decisions.

In order to “cement” the Truth of God’s love and blessing for, and over my life, I had to stop listening to the bitter accusations, and all the condemnation, coming from the folks I grew up with.

After years of praying for God to change the hearts of those closest to me?

I finally realized, it was my heart that God had changed—because now, I saw myself as a person worthy of His love, and favor, because of what Jesus Christ had done for me on that cross!

That day, I made a very deliberate choice, to protect what God was rewiring in my heart and my mind—and believe God—for His more!

When you are longing for something more

Let’s face it. We know when the status quo has stopped working for us. (In our hearts—we know.) And, on that day, one of two things will happen.

Either, we will stop believing for a greater “God-given destiny” and embrace mediocrity, or we will grab onto God, with ALL His word has promised us, and with the ferocity of a tiger, we will choose change whatever the cost.

I am speaking here of changes in my own toxic family relationships—not marriage. Marriage is a covenant-relationship, and in those problems, you must first try things like, professional Biblical counseling, for example. BUT, there are no guarantees. In ALL relationships—each person chooses. You never have control over other people’s choices—only your own.

But, for myself?

I knew I had to risk letting go of what I could see, and choose uncertainty, with all the scary stuff of walking by faith alone, and venture with God into an unknown—knowing only one thing for certain…

If God be true?

Then every man, jack, or spirit, that has been telling us, “No way will you ever have God’s best!” is a liar.

That day, is the day we choose to lay down everything that is no longer working, and look to God and God alone, for who we are, and for what we will become. From that day forward—we choose to believe God’s word, and find our identity, and our delight, in Him alone.

Breathing “New Life” into dry bones.

I wrote a poem many years ago I called, “Destiny and The Dream~Maker’s Gift”. It’s about the “hearts desires” that get planted in us (I believe) before we are even born.

For myself, that poem is a reminder of “the me” I was as a very small child, twirling and spinning in my stocking feet, all alone in my house, dancing to my first encounters with classical music. I can still close my eyes and remember all the passion and delight I found in that music so many years ago.

Back in those days (I think I was six or seven) I dreamed of being a ballerina, and so I begged my mother to allow me to take ballet lessons.

Alas, all my pleading was to no avail.

So I danced alone; only when everyone else was gone from the house and it was just me and my dreams, dancing before the only One who could see me, and knew all that was in my heart.

Well, years passed, and I forgot all about becoming a ballerina.

Those desires, along with many others, got buried and forgotten.

But the things I didn’t forget? Those long ago desires and longings? They were still twirling and spinning on tiptoe, somewhere deep inside. The elation and sweet delight that I felt as a child, back when I dreamed that my feet would find their wings, and one day learn to fly?

Those desires were only sleeping—waiting the moment His call would come.

Ready For Deeper

Every time I read the following words by Tolkien, I hear God’s Voice,

“All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.”

                                   —J.R.R. Tolkien

I see myself in these lines of Tolkien and I hear God calling me to more.

The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring…

Is this an announcement that my dry bones shall live?

I am a Baby Boomer… and a Late Bloomer!

Perhaps, it is because I did not even begin to write until I was well into my fifth decade. Or, maybe it was because I did not passionately pursue my writing until my sixth decade?

I definitely qualify as a late bloomer. One who wasted too many years, trying to please people, who in the end? Wouldn’t ever find pleasure in much of anything I did. Their criticism was constant and abiding, making all my desire and efforts at people pleasing, one abject failure.

In his book, Whisper, Mark Batterson speaks of “the language of desires” and he makes this eye-opening observation.


What’s the point in trying to be who you aren’t? If you succeed, you is who you ain’t, and you ain’t who you is. You’re actually less like the person God designed you and destined you to be. That isn’t succeeding; it’s failing. And I, for one, would rather fail at something I love than succeed at something I don’t.

Don’t you love that?

I definitely want to be who I isnot who I ain’t!

I never did discover the wonderful world of ballet as a dancer…

But, there is a reason why I chose a ballerina as my symbol to represent “Destiny.” You see, I did (finally) discover that “long ago sleeping delight,” when I discovered that I could make the words on a page, dance and sing.

It was the day I wrote the poem, The Warrior (New Song #7).

On that day, the words just poured from me, without previous form or thought.

I remember that I was stunned as I looked at the finished product.

That was when God whispered, “…Psalm 45” to the longing in my heart, and I opened my Bible, and read these destiny-defining words,

My heart is overflowing with a beautiful thought! I will write a lovely poem to the King, for I am as full of words as the speediest writer pouring out his story.

You are the fairest of all;

Your words are filled with grace;

God himself is blessing you forever.

Arm yourself, O mighty one,

So glorious, so majestic!

And in your majesty

Go on to victory,

Defending truth, humility, and justice.

Go forth to awe-inspiring deeds!

Your arrows are sharp

In your enemies’ hearts;

They fall before you.

Your throne, O God, endures forever.

Justice is your royal scepter.

You love what is good

And hate what is wrong.

Therefore God, your God,

Has given you more gladness

Than anyone else…             [vs. 1-7 TLB]

I literally felt as if God had laid His hand on my head, and gave me His blessing, to write.

Delight, Desires, and Destiny

When I write?

In my heart, I am twirling and spinning again! Just like long ago, I can feel the same elation and joy I felt as a child.

(And this I know, My Father sees it too!)

I truly believe He delights in, me!

And, in that delight?

My DESTINY is found.

It’s Time To Go!

In their song, “I Can’t Stay Here” David and Nicole Binion echo all that was in my heart the day I said, “Yes!” to God and “DONE!” to the status quo.

Needless to say, that day was very scary and extremely difficult—but oh-so-liberating!

In the Song of Songs, Solomon wrote,

The one I love calls to me: [ The Bridegroom-King ] Arise, my dearest. Hurry, my darling. Come away with me! I have come as you have asked to draw you to my heart and lead you out. For now is the time, my beautiful one.

Can you not discern this new day of destiny breaking forth around you? The early signs of my purposes and plans are bursting forth. The budding vines of new life are now blooming everywhere. The fragrance of their flowers whispers, “There is change in the air.” Arise, my love, my beautiful companion, and run with me to the higher place. For now is the time to arise and come away with me.

Song of Songs 2: 10, 13 The Passion Translation

No one ever said that Destiny would come easy.

But when she comes, dancing behind the King, “Oh the joy,” when you hear His Voice whispering to you, “Come away…”

And you finally know…  this time?

You have to GO!