Wounded Expectations

So it was before when you came down, for you did awesome things beyond our highest expectations, and how the mountains quaked!  Isaiah 64:3

So, Moses agreed to return to Egypt.

I wonder what scenarios were running through his mind as he made the long walk back.

Surely, he was running all the possible outcomes he could imagine past Aaron, who walked along beside him.

We know don’t we? All the great and mighty things, the miracles, that God did through Moses as he faced off with Pharaoh. But, they haven’t happened yet.

If fact, they’ve never happened before, or since!

Moses has only one scenario running–his past failure.

Fault in our faith?

I believe we are a nation full of people with wounded expectations.

How do you recover from this kind of devastation?

Is the fault in our faith?

Max Lucado said,

“Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. It is the belief that God will do what is right.”

That is easy to say.

But what do you do with your fractured faith, when you have bowed your soul to the ground, desperately asking God for a miracle from this One you love and trust, and the miracle doesn’t happen.

What are we to do with our deeply wounded expectations?

Jazzy jokes and glib one-liners just won’t do it will they?

The Blame is whose?

I hate the blame game.

(Talk about Zombie land!)

It has it’s roots planted deep in the land of regrets and disappointments.

It used to be a common practice in the Church, to blame someone’s faith, when the prayed for miracle did not happen the way everyone expected.

It was so destructive, and so wrong.

I used to think if I just had enough faith, I could get God to do anything I believed.

But, didn’t Jesus Himself say, just a mustard seed of faith could move a mountain?

God of Love and Miracles

He is a loving God of miracles.

Oh, that you would burst forth from the skies and come down! How the mountains would quake in your presence!  The consuming fire of your glory would burn down the forests and boil the oceans dry. The nations would tremble before you; then your enemies would learn the reason for your fame!  So it was before when you came down, for you did awesome things beyond our highest expectations, and how the mountains quaked!  For since the world began no one has seen or heard of such a God as ours, who works for those who wait for him!  You welcome those who cheerfully do good, who follow godly ways.

Isiah 64: 1-5 TLB

Quality or Quantity?

So, what does mustard faith look like?

Is the problem the quality of our faith. or the quantity?

“It seems like being “passionate for something big” is something positive, but I keep running into Jesus telling us to be like children. And children are small. Maybe you’ve noticed that too. They do little things, and they’re okay with it. Jesus seems passionate about other little things too. Mustard seeds. Sparrows. Lilies of the field. Single days, like today, instead of The Big Future. Little acts of our will.”

― Brant Hansen, blessed are the misfits

Neither is the issue, as Max points out.

I believe it is our surrendered focus.

Wounded expectations

We must surrender to ANY outcome and focus on the Love that will always do what is best for us. And I confess to you, I have argued long and hard with God over what “best” looks like.

The subject of wanting a family comes immediately to mind.

I used to tell God that I could float a battleship in the amount of tears I had shed over this heart’s desire.

I remember the day I finally found peace about this.

I was in my late fifties. I had just spent another sleepless night soaking my pillow with tears. I remember I got out of my bed, dropped to my knees, and prayed, “God! I don’t know how to stop wanting this.”

Tears were streaming down my face, but I realized that surrender was preferable to misery, so I finally surrendered the dream.

My dream–God’s way

Miracles don’t always LOOK the way you expect.

I can’t emphasize enough how huge that statement is.

A miracle was about to enter my life but she was someone else’s child. And, oh yes, she and her mother were a shining miracle for me!

I had been working for a Christian preschool but I knew I needed to quit.

I began scanning the Help Wanted, looking for a new job, when I saw this ad that seemed to jump from the print on the page, “LOOKING FOR A WOMAN WHO WILL LOVE MY CHILD.”

I answered the ad. I got the job. And, for the next five and a half years I cared for this baby girl (and her mom!) and, it was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life!

It was my dream–but it was–God’s way.

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