You shall not side with the strong against the powerless.
— Sir Robert Morton, The Winslow Boy
That was me. I believed I was powerless.
So, for a very long time, I was one of God’s weakest worshipers.
(I struggled with so much doubt.)
How could God be good and let so much bad stuff happen to me?
(It’s an old question isn’t it?)
I had so much junk in my past and because so many terrible things had happened, when I would go to church and worship, I would sing and pray, yes…
But I would wonder, too.
In my heart of hearts… I hurt…
And God knew that.
He knew that there was this young Believer who wanted with all her heart to believe, but she would trip and stumble over all her, “What about’s…?”
(Yeah, I did.)
I had questions. Or, should I say I would “hear questions,” about God’s goodness in my head. And then, I would wonder, “Well, what about that God?”
God isn’t surprised by our doubts.
He isn’t up in heaven, scowling at us, thinking He needs to knock some sense into our unbelieving hearts and heads.
Can I say it this way? He loves and shuvs* us THROUGH our doubts. He, or should I say the Holy Spirit, walks us out of the dark forest of our troubled doubting until, “At last!” we see:
He is everything we need—everything we could hope for!
Even in our terrible circumstances!
I used to believe: Nothing bad should happen to me if I trust God to protect me.
Then, when something bad happened, The Accuser would clobber me with a bunch of sarcastic questions like:
- “Why didn’t your good God stop this from happening?”
- “When are you going to wise up and realize God doesn’t care about you?”
- “Where is God in all these ashes, huh?”
- “What will you do about this one, dummy?”
And, I confess, I would wonder.
You see, I believed the enemy’s LIE: The only help you have is YOU. (I grew up with lots of abandonment issues.) It took some time for God to dismantle all those lies, and for me to finally learn, that any time the Enemy starts accusing God? I need to pick up my “sword” (the promises in my bible) and start swinging it!
It’s what Jesus did!
When Satan slithered into that wilderness to try to tempt Him, Jesus answered the enemy with, “It is written…”
Then the Spirit led Jesus into the desert to be tempted by the devil. Jesus fasted for forty days and nights. After this, he was very hungry. The devil came to Jesus to tempt him, saying, “If you are the Son of God, tell these rocks to become bread.”
Jesus answered, “It is written in the Scriptures…” Matthew 4: 1-4 NCV
In His weakest moments Jesus had to stand on the words of God. And that is where we have to make our stand, too!
I will lift up my eyes to the mountains. Where will my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth. He will not let your feet go out from under you. He Who watches over you will not sleep.
Psalm 121: 1-3 NLV
We don’t focus on our circumstances.
- We fix our eyes on the promises of God.
- We speak them to our doubts.
- We hide them in our heart—for they are our healing hope.
- They are His power, truth, and resurrecting Life!
And, of this much I am now sure, what we decide to believe?
The eyes of the Lord are upon even the weakest worshipers who love him— those who wait in hope and expectation for the strong, steady love of God. Psalm 33:18 TPT
* shuvs: (sounds like “shooves”) A Hebrew shepherding term meaning “to gently guide and nudge along with a shepherds staff”