For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father’s house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this? –Esther 4:14 KJV
It’s not easy loving a king. Just ask Esther.
Imagine, being thrust suddenly from obscurity into the glaring spotlight of the Persian royal court–a pagan court at that–and you’ve been an overlooked orphan all of your life.
Funny, I always imagined that loving a king would be easy… wonderful… even magical.
I grew up in a household where Jesus, (and the talk of Him,) was commonplace.
It was never strange to hear His name… but loving Him?
The KING of kings? No. For some reason, I never connected His name with wondrous love. How could that be? God is LOVE, and Jesus is the flesh-n-blood manifestation of God. Isn’t love the biggest part of the relationship with Him?
A King came courting
I became a passionate prodigal at the age of eighteen. Oh, I was slowly drifting away from my church roots for many years before I finally proclaimed myself “free.”
(Talk about deluded!)
But looking back? How could it have turned out any other way? I hadn’t been taught about God’s love–just His fearsome justice.
So, in my early days of wandering, I did as I pleased, and nothing bad happened to me. Therefore, I concluded that God just wasn’t interested. I was down here, He was up there, in the vast Beyond, so what did any of it matter?
Until… God began courting me.
Clueless and Headstrong
I was clueless at first.
I didn’t like “Christians” and I steered away from them at all times. I didn’t mind them having their “churchy-beliefs,” I just didn’t want them to inflict that stuff on me.
(I strongly suspect that most unbelievers feel that way about us in the church.)
Yeah, I was a headstrong prodigal and proud of it!
I kept my tears private and my heartaches to myself.
I bravely “soldiered on” through every adversity in spite of my growing inner despair and desperation.
That is, until the fine cracks in my tough veneer began to widen into gaps you could drive a truck through!
That’s when The King, (Jesus by name) came courting.
He just showed up one day when I was deciding that suicide was my only logical option.
He took over like a King!
It scared me at first, because things suddenly and radically happened outside of my control. I just kept driving, my attention frozen on what was happening to me.
God, instead of ignoring me, was in the car with me–His warming presence driving out the darkness in my heart.
(I didn’t even know the darkness was there until it was suddenly gone!)
It was His overwhelming love, (His hesed–look it up.) that He used to softly, and gently, wrap me up, that was my total undoing. My depression was gone. My hopelessness evaporated like fog that disappears when the sun comes breaking through.
I’d never experienced any kind of love like that!
The only thing I can compare it to that will give you an accurate description, He tenderly handled me like you would a burn victim in so much pain, they can barely be touched.
If any of this might sound like you…
I want you to know something that is the TRUEST-TRUE that I know–His love for you will never, ever, change. God really, REALLY, loves you–to the moon and back.
(But, I won’t blow smoke up your skirt either–it ain’t easy loving a King.)
He’s bossy! He always, ALWAYS, gets His own way!
But, honestly, you will never be loved as well as He can love you. Because, nothing in your past can deter His passion. Nothing in your present can disillusion or surprise Him. Not a single thing you might do in the future will ever cause Him to walk away or wash His hands of you.
Once you are His? You are HIS… forever.
His HELP will always be there for you.
It comes wrapped in tender love, and authentic acceptance, and eternal patience.
If He comes courting?
Girl, for heavens sake, say “Yes!”