Now that I have completed my second ankle surgery, “Thank you LORD!” (and yes I am mending nicely,) I am back to my blog and ready to begin a new series.
While I had my foot on a mountain of pillows again, I used my time to focus in on where God wants us to go next. I waited… and prayed, and waited… and then prayed some more.
I floated one idea after another in my prayers, but I couldn’t seem to get a “green light” from the LORD on anything.
In fact, so much time went by, that I started to wonder again if God wanted to scrap this blog in favor of “A New Thing”?
Sidelined and wondering…
I wonder how many of us feel sidelined by this COVID thing, and are wondering when our lives are going to get moving again, and what will they look like when they do.
It’s really hard some days for me to keep a great attitude amidst so much uncertainty all around me.
I said, “LORD? I’m not touching my computer until I know what you want. I don’t know what people are going through, or what they need, but You do. What do You want me to say to them, especially now?”
Can you relate?
This time of COVID seems to have turned the apple cart upside down for many of us and put some of us into some very tight corners!
I don’t know about you, but I hate feeling cornered.
Losing my song
Waiting is not my strong suite, okay?
I really struggle with “stillness,” even though I know it is a very necessary part of waiting when one wants to hear from God.
I also believe that it is important to make singing and praising God a regular part of your everyday life.
Not just worship on Sundays, but thanksgiving and praise, as a daily exercise.
But my song was gone.
Praise has also been a very important part of this blog.
I still firmly believe, it is the vigorous pursuit of praise and worship, making it a daily priority, that has played a major part in helping me defeat the grip depression has had on me for so many years.
But, saying that, the longer my writing was “on hold,” the more elusive the song in my heart became.
I found myself mentally drifting during online church services, watching others sing, while feeling as if any desire to sing along myself, got further and further away.
It wasn’t like the choking dark clouds of the past–it was more like a misty fog of cold and numbness had begun to settle in around my heart.
When God SEEMS far away
Now I know for certain, God is IN ME.
He is not far and distant, even if sometimes my circumstances make it feel that way.
(The key word being feel.)
So, I kept on praying. I kept on asking. And, I kept on waiting.
One thing is for sure.
When you feel like you’re in a tight corner with no answers, you can focus on your tight corner, or you can focus on heaven, but you can’t do both.
When no one but God has your answer?
I believe the shortest road to victory is to focus on God, and wait expectantly, for His whisper.
“…You missed something.”
That’s when God whispered, “You missed something.”
I knew God was speaking to me about my favorite episode of The Chosen, because as He was speaking, I could “see it” playing in my head.
So, I went back to the book of John, and the stories of Peter fishing.
I tuned up the episode where Peter meets Jesus for the first time.
- Peter was frustrated.
- He had been fishing all night and had caught nothing.
- I sure could relate to the NOTHING.
- He was ALSO desperate.
- Rome was breathing down his neck.
- He needed to make enough money fishing to pay all taxes he owed.
But, all Peter had were empty nets.
He needed something that only God could provide… FISH!
Talk about being backed into a corner!
Maybe you can relate?
I know I can.
Many times I’ve been in Peter’s shoes–desperate for answers I can’t find.
As I went back, and watched that episode of The Chosen again, you know what?
I realized I did miss something.
And suddenly, I thought perhaps, I could see where I thought God wanted to go.
(So, here we go.)
Let’s see if we can discover what God has on His mind.